


no one does it better

by rockinhamburger



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:28:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23070976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockinhamburger/pseuds/rockinhamburger
Summary: Patrick only has a small sample size to draw from, and yet he’s quite certain David is the very best when it comes to sex. He hit the jackpot for sure.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 26
Kudos: 281
Collections: Porner Community Service Ficlets





	no one does it better

**Author's Note:**

> I got sent to the porner for the crime of death by tender when I brought up my Grad Night Patrick feels. In my defence, the show murdered us first, so. Anyway, hope you enjoy this unbetaed porn!

Patrick only has a small sample size to draw from, and yet he’s quite certain David is the very best when it comes to sex. He hit the jackpot for sure. 

The worst part is that David doesn’t have the decency to be all smug about it. He doesn’t even seem to realize how good he is, most of the time. In the early days of their relationship, David would finish making Patrick come his brains out, and then he’d ask Patrick if it was good, genuinely ask, while Patrick was blinking stars out of his eyes.

Patrick is competitive to a fault, so he naturally wants to be as good at sex as David is, but it’s a challenge. He doesn’t exude the insane paradoxical combination of controlled yet wild enthusiasm that David does in spades. But practice makes perfect, and it’s been a lot of fun to practice over the years, even if it seems like there’s no chance at all that he’ll ever come close to what David can accomplish with Patrick’s body.

The greatest showcase in David’s skill is the way he commits to rimming Patrick. The first time David brought it up, he did it in that ridiculously sexy way he has of talking about sex like it’s as casual a discussion as the weather. “Can I rim you?” he’d asked conversationally after pulling off Patrick’s cock and staring up at him with his dark eyes and red mouth, his normally perfect hair in disarray from Patrick’s desperate fistfuls, and his hands steady and firm in their hold around Patrick’s thighs.

“Fuck, _David_ ,” Patrick had moaned, the words and the sight of David in the throes of sexual zeal entirely too much.

“It’s okay if you don’t like it,” David had said reassuringly, like that was the problem, like Patrick hadn’t made himself come on multiple occasions from the mere idea of David rimming him. He might even have fantasized about David’s mouth on him way back when they were newly in business together, when his budding feelings for David (and, by extension, men) had directed him to the delights of porn that actually made him hard instead of detached and answered a lot of questions he’d never let himself ask.

“Pretty sure I’m gonna like it,” he’d tried to joke, but it had come out breathy and turned on.

David had spent a very long time with Patrick’s legs over his shoulders, licking over his hole and spearing his tongue inside, all while moaning and grunting and holding Patrick’s hands tight in his to stop him from touching himself. For the better part of an hour, David had worked him until Patrick’s rim was tingling and his hole wet and open, begging for David’s cock. And even when Patrick had resorted to begging with his words, still David hadn’t let up, luxuriating in it like they had forever and he was perfectly happy to spend all of it down there licking and sucking and moaning, his gaze hot on Patrick like he couldn’t get enough of the sight of him.

On his back is definitely Patrick's favourite position for this, but by a very small margin. It’s amazing when he’s on all fours, David alternating between deep thrusts of his tongue and thumbs, his breath over Patrick’s hole making him shiver. Or when David’s on his back, Patrick’s thighs trembling with the effort of holding himself over David’s mouth, when Patrick is completely unable to look down at what David is doing because then he’ll come and it’ll be over. No matter the position, David delights in ripping sounds out of him, especially when Patrick gets so desperate he can only let out quivering wails. And then, if David sees fit, he’ll stroke Patrick’s cock until he’s coming so hard it approaches blackout territory.

Patrick has only blacked out the one time, but it was extremely memorable. David had fucked him so hard and so good up against the headboard, bringing Patrick right to the edge of coming four times before he’d finally ended the torture. Patrick had blacked out for a few seconds, could hear and see and feel nothing but shivering, borderline painful pleasure.

Patrick’s resigned himself to the fact that he’ll just never be as good at sex as David is. But it’s a worthy goal that he’s committed to achieving, and he is glad he signed on to doing it for the rest of his life. Married sex is very good sex.

David is vocal in his appreciation of Patrick’s efforts to get on David’s level, and he disagrees that he’s better. He insists Patrick is better at it, and he frequently provides citations, like the time Patrick massaged David’s prostate until he was legitimately crying. Which is definitely a point of pride, but Patrick still maintains _he_ married the best sex partner and he won’t concede to David’s impassioned arguments that David married the best sex partner.

Yes, Patrick hit the jackpot. No question.

**Author's Note:**

> Have I learned my lesson? Time will tell. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Title from Janelle Monáe's Make Me Feel.


End file.
